You talking to ME??

So today, we had worship and a mini staff meeting. As always, the worship was heartfelt and meaningful and really broke down all the walls that have been built up between me and God. However, what totally freaked me out was when Pastor John started sharing his 'devotion' or teaching for today. I had to wonder if he'd been reading my journal (or my mind) because it was as if he was talking directly to ME- as if he knew my deepest hurts and hangups... You know that feeling you get when you've been caught or think you've been found out??? That's what I felt in the pit of my stomach... Did everyone know he was talking to ME??
Truth is, though, our God is THAT good. But it's pretty conceited of me to think that John's teaching today was 'all about me'. But it was truth that I needed to hear, and be reminded of. They were words I've wanted to hear, yet were afraid to hear. They were words of conviction and love. I haven't got it all figured out, yet, but there were several points made that I need to study further- both in my Bible and in my heart. I need to ask God to speak to me more and that I'd hear what He is trying to tell me through other people.
I'll be honest... I believe the enemy's lies. I've listened to them for so long, that I can shut them out for a while, but ultimately they are a part of me. I've allowed them to become truth- and that grieves my Father who loves me deeply and so desperately wants to speak truth into my life. I don't even know how or when the lies started, but I have an idea...and that opens an entire luggage collection of hurts that I've tried to lose many times over. I've left them on the baggage claim round-a-bout and walked away, but they always turn up. I've tried to ignore them, even though my name is clearly written on the luggage tag. Maybe it's time to unpack those suitcases and leave what's inside at the foot of the cross...