Grandma...

Monday, the 15th is the 2 year anniversary of when my Grandmother passed away. It's really hard this year. I miss her so much, and this year especially- I think because we're staying home for Christmas and not traveling. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Christmas season and am excited to see the boys open their gifts, do services at church, and enjoy our own family traditions. I just know in the back of my mind what Monday is...and it makes me sad. My Grandmother and I had a special relationship. We were both writers and wrote letters back and forth over the years back when I started college up until she passed away-letters that we both wrote by hand. (Okay, once in a while I did cheat and typed one out on the computer, but I was a college student! Give me a break!) I found one of her letters the other day in a shoebox in my closet... It was from the summer of 2005 when I had just been offered the Children's Director position at my church in Iowa. She was congratulating me and then shared almost 2 handwritten pages of her jobs at her church when she was my age...talked about my grandfather who passed before I was born and how he didn't like her being a janitor at their church and how he was excited when she was in the church office instead...talked about how she then left the church job for her job at the credit union where I used to visit her when I was little...and how she met my grandfather whom I grew up with at the same credit union several years after her first husband passed away... The letter was full of her and her life, a glimpse into her past that I knew very little about- which is exactly why I've held on to most of her letters. My Grandmother was an amazing woman of God; a strong woman who married very young and moved across the country with her husband to start a life together back in the 30s; a crossword puzzle lover; a beautiful quilt maker...of which I have several, and crocheter of blankets and doilies and hanger covers...all of which I have; opinionated and argumentative when she felt stronly about something; and most of all a mentor and inspiration to me - encouraging me to always put my best foot forward to seek God's will and do what He has called me to do. She was always so proud of me, even when I wasn't someone to be proud of...but she loved me unconditionally, and I always knew that. I know she's watching over me and wishing I wouldn't cry...she's partying up there in heaven with her Jesus-she's finally home with no more pain, no more sorrow...but I miss her so bad sometimes it hurts. I'm so grateful for the woman she was and who she inspires me to be. I love you Grandma, and carry a piece of you with me everyday.