On a recent episode of the Today Show, there was a family being interviewed whose daughter/sister had been killed after being hired for a babysitting job on Craig's List at the home where she thought she was going to be working. Tragic and horrific story that was on all the news shows 18 months ago when it happened. The young man who murdered this college girl had been convicted and sentenced to life in prison. The reporter was asking the normal questions about whether the family felt justice had been served, and then she asked about forgiving this young man and if the father thought that was possible. The father in this case is a minister so I waited for his 'pat' answer...but instead was pleasantly surprised. I can't write what he said word for word, but I can sum up the main points that moved me, and got me thinking about forgiveness in my own life.
He started by saying there are two types of forgiveness in the Bible. In the old testament, forgiveness was about restoring relationships with other people. This father talked about the fact that he does not have a relationship with the young man who killed his daughter, nor will he ever have a relationship with him outside of seeing him in the court room. He then talked about forgiveness in the new testament being about letting go and releasing. He said that he would forgive this young man in this way...
It got me thinking about my own life and areas that I need to take a deeper look at when it comes to forgiveness. I know that forgiveness isn't always easy, and that it's more for me than the other person. Yet, it's still hard sometimes to even admit that I need to forgive someone- especially if I have no intention of restoring any type of relationship... But the letting go and releasing...I need to let go and release the other person, their actions, as well as all of the hurt and 'yuck' I carry around when someone has hurt me. I also need to let go and release myself (forgive myself) for my part in the situation. This is often the hardest part...I allow the unforgiveness or shere denial that anything 'wrong' happened to become a part of me, and I don't know what it will look like if I let it go. I don't want hurt or unforgiveness or even denial to shape who I am!! What's even more puzzling for me is when I have forgiven someone- truly forgiven them- and I either feel like I haven't or am asked how I ever did...
I'm on a journey of rediscovery, and I so don't want to pick up old habits that I've started to break... But on this journey I'm being challenged to: walk through situations and scenarios that I don't want to walk through and recall those who've truly hurt me in life and write out those hurts. I know it's part of a process that will walk me through forgiveness...of others and myself; and ultimately of letting go and releasing all of the hurts and 'bagage' I've carried around. But it IS hard...
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Forgiveness...
On a recent episode of the Today Show, there was a family being interviewed whose daughter/sister had been killed after being hired for a babysitting job on Craig's List at the home where she thought she was going to be working. Tragic and horrific story that was on all the news shows 18 months ago when it happened. The young man who murdered this college girl had been convicted and sentenced to life in prison. The reporter was asking the normal questions about whether the family felt justice had been served, and then she asked about forgiving this young man and if the father thought that was possible. The father in this case is a minister so I waited for his 'pat' answer...but instead was pleasantly surprised. I can't write what he said word for word, but I can sum up the main points that moved me, and got me thinking about forgiveness in my own life.
He started by saying there are two types of forgiveness in the Bible. In the old testament, forgiveness was about restoring relationships with other people. This father talked about the fact that he does not have a relationship with the young man who killed his daughter, nor will he ever have a relationship with him outside of seeing him in the court room. He then talked about forgiveness in the new testament being about letting go and releasing. He said that he would forgive this young man in this way...
It got me thinking about my own life and areas that I need to take a deeper look at when it comes to forgiveness. I know that forgiveness isn't always easy, and that it's more for me than the other person. Yet, it's still hard sometimes to even admit that I need to forgive someone- especially if I have no intention of restoring any type of relationship... But the letting go and releasing...I need to let go and release the other person, their actions, as well as all of the hurt and 'yuck' I carry around when someone has hurt me. I also need to let go and release myself (forgive myself) for my part in the situation. This is often the hardest part...I allow the unforgiveness or shere denial that anything 'wrong' happened to become a part of me, and I don't know what it will look like if I let it go. I don't want hurt or unforgiveness or even denial to shape who I am!! What's even more puzzling for me is when I have forgiven someone- truly forgiven them- and I either feel like I haven't or am asked how I ever did...
I'm on a journey of rediscovery, and I so don't want to pick up old habits that I've started to break... But on this journey I'm being challenged to: walk through situations and scenarios that I don't want to walk through and recall those who've truly hurt me in life and write out those hurts. I know it's part of a process that will walk me through forgiveness...of others and myself; and ultimately of letting go and releasing all of the hurts and 'bagage' I've carried around. But it IS hard...
He started by saying there are two types of forgiveness in the Bible. In the old testament, forgiveness was about restoring relationships with other people. This father talked about the fact that he does not have a relationship with the young man who killed his daughter, nor will he ever have a relationship with him outside of seeing him in the court room. He then talked about forgiveness in the new testament being about letting go and releasing. He said that he would forgive this young man in this way...
It got me thinking about my own life and areas that I need to take a deeper look at when it comes to forgiveness. I know that forgiveness isn't always easy, and that it's more for me than the other person. Yet, it's still hard sometimes to even admit that I need to forgive someone- especially if I have no intention of restoring any type of relationship... But the letting go and releasing...I need to let go and release the other person, their actions, as well as all of the hurt and 'yuck' I carry around when someone has hurt me. I also need to let go and release myself (forgive myself) for my part in the situation. This is often the hardest part...I allow the unforgiveness or shere denial that anything 'wrong' happened to become a part of me, and I don't know what it will look like if I let it go. I don't want hurt or unforgiveness or even denial to shape who I am!! What's even more puzzling for me is when I have forgiven someone- truly forgiven them- and I either feel like I haven't or am asked how I ever did...
I'm on a journey of rediscovery, and I so don't want to pick up old habits that I've started to break... But on this journey I'm being challenged to: walk through situations and scenarios that I don't want to walk through and recall those who've truly hurt me in life and write out those hurts. I know it's part of a process that will walk me through forgiveness...of others and myself; and ultimately of letting go and releasing all of the hurts and 'bagage' I've carried around. But it IS hard...
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