No more tantrum...I'm grounded~

I've been throwing a temper tantrum. Not literally out loud...but internally. If you read my last post, you have a better visual of what I've been feeling lately; so here's an update. I've grounded myself to the corner until I can get myself together. No more avoiding...no more pretending...no more hiding (or thinking I'm hiding)... I'm just stuck in the corner. You know when you ask a child 'why' they did something, and their response is, "I dunno?!" Well if you asked me why I'm still in the corner and NOT doing anything about it...that'd be my response..."I dunno..." Do I like being in the corner? NO! Do I like the habits that have gotten me where I am today?? Not really... So why am I not really doing anything about it?? I dunno... Maybe confession is the first step...being real with the yuck of who I've become and seeing who God wants me to be- who I want to be... Maybe by really thinking about all the 'stuff' that I've so carefully avoided thinking about, remembering the people I've tried over and over to forgive, admitting to the habits that are impossible for me to change on my own...maybe that's the beginning. Maybe that's what God wants me think about while I stand in the corner. I still don't want to...still don't any answers...still don't like it... But if I ever want to get out of the corner and truly LIVE the life I've been given and DO what I've been called to do and BE who God made me to be - I'm gonna have to. So, for right now, I've got my nose in the corner thinking of all the things I shoulda, coulda, woulda...and praying that God will hear me and help me be willing to be willing...