God speaks to me through pictures...Whether it's a visual that pops into my head when someone else is talking or a literal picture that comes to mind when I least expect it...God has used pictures to help me clearly 'see' what He is teaching me. The most recent visual God gave me was a brick wall.
Walls are nothing new to me...I've built plenty of them in my lifetime, most of which to keep others OUT and to keep me IN. This wall was different. This brick wall was behind me, in the middle of the road, running in both directions and towards the sky as far as I could see. Just an ordinary, solid, never-ending brick wall...
At first, this picture frustrated me... Haven't I been working hard on tearing down walls in my life? Haven't I put stakes in the ground to mark the 'wins' and reclaim what the enemy has taken? After all the baby steps, giant steps, kicking and screaming...this impenetrable wall was now blocking my path?
But then God turned me around... This wall was not blocking my path towards healing and growth, it was literally marking a new starting point. The brick wall was blocking me from going backwards...Behind this wall were all of the tears and shame and hurt that I'd been working through for so long. I found myself backed up against it as far as I could...Scary to think of never going back; that's where I've found comfort...in old ways, old habits, old coping skills, old beliefs...I'll be honest, I went looking for a spoon to start scooping out the mortar and try tearing down the wall, or at least to carve out a hole so I could look back.
But God smiled down at me, and whispered He had something better...something new...something unfamiliar. He is asking me to trust...and step away from the wall...even if it's only as far as I can with one hand still on the wall. Baby steps... He's only asking for me to be willing to look ahead... And there will come a day...when another brick wall will appear to show me, once again, how much farther I've come.
2 comments:
Um Wow!
Now THAT (the wall that marks off your new beginning) is something to CELEBRATE! Yeah God!
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